Tuesday, December 27, 2005

An open letter to my imaginary, solitary reader, Niamh

Dear Niamh,

Merry Christmas! I know you think my greeting is belated, but I don't care how finnicky you are about a specific date, Christmas doesn't end until Epiphany. Until I wake up on January 7, I consider myself in the season of Christmas.

I hope this winter finds you and your box turtle, Dame Edna doing well. Have you found her a friend, yet? There is a pretty dog named Bruno at the Grinshill Animal Rescue right now. He apparently isn't good around other dogs or cats, but so long as you keep Dame Edna in her terrarium, I'm sure she'll be fine. Plus, he looks like a spirited fellow; I'm sure the two of you would give each other a good run for your monies! Or perhaps you could home Gromit. I know you'd been thinking of a rabbit, as well. AND you have a larger garden than your neighbors, so maybe you could give him a decent size pen to play in. But never mind me. I only want everyone to have menageries because as hard work as animalitos are, they're so good for your health.

Most all is well on the western front. My honey and I are on holiday with the family in more temperate climes, this season. Much as I like to think Christmas must be cold, if not snowy, I have to admit I'm enjoying the respite in the short-sleeved weather. We saw The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe on Christmas day. I loved it. The child who played Edmund was great. I felt more drawn to him in the movie than in the book. Plus, I felt like the movie did a better job of creating dramatic tension than the book did. My only criticism is that there were perhaps two too many pregnant pauses. At one point - and I can't tell which - I remember thinking, wow, didn't they just have a "dramatic moment?" Maybe we could vary it up a little bit more? Christmas day was otherwise quiet.

Anyway, Niamh, have a great week. Don't let the chaps at the pub rib you too much about the jumper your daughter bought for you. They're simply jealous!

Cheers,
Molly

Monday, December 26, 2005

A nibble

Found this on Found Magazine, today. I feel sorry for her. Especially because she's probably Italian. There's something sadder to me when Europeans act like dopey Americans or Australians. We Brittish Empire cast-offs gladly do crap like this. When old-worlders go for this, it just seems a little more pathetic. Regardless, though: I LOVE IT!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

An appetizer for Niamh

It looks like I haven't posted in about two weeks. Sorry about that, Niamh. I hope you're having a wonderful Christmas season. (Even with the population of England largely atheist/other these days, y'all still call it Christmas, right? That's what I inferred from "Love Actually.") I'll try to be more faithful with this in the coming days. But in any event, have plenty of figgy pudding for me!

I just thought, today, I'd leave you with a link to some guy's list of worst album covers, ever. It made me laugh so hard I teared up at work the other day. Consider it my stocking stuffer to you, Niamh!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

You ruin every Festivus!

So apparently William Donohue and his happy ilk are just Rumplestiltskin-style angry that the President has decided to sign off on his holiday cards with the phrase, "Happy Holidays." But they're not just pissed off about that, they're mad that stores are more often eschewing "Merry Christmas" for it's alliterative vague seasonal greeting. The American Family Association, who could probably give PeTA a run for their money in the "most annoyingly sanctimonious organization" category, have even launched a boycott against Target because the discount store won't hang Christmas-specific banners from their very reverend rafters.

Most of us probably give a big eye-roll to folks so PC they have to call a Christmas tree a "holiday tree." But these guys are pathetic.

Donohue, Wildmon and others feel that removing the word "Christmas" from retail stores and greeting cards somehow takes the "Christ" out of "Christmas." I'll get to the greeting cards later, but first the stores: WHAT? Have these people ever been in a mall at Christmastime? The vast majority of this crap may be wrapped and go under a Christmas tree and be delivered with the line, "Merry Christmas," but I would place money on it that most of the X-Box 360s to be opened this December 25 were purchased with nary a thought of an impoverished Nazarene baby of questionable paternity. In fact, it seems the best way to preserve the dignity of Christ's name is to dissociate it with retail mayhem.

As for the greeting cards: Come off it, jerks. It's their own damned business what cards they pick and how they sign off on them. I tend to vary it up between Merry Christmas, Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays, myself. Sure, they're choice is probably more political than mine, but that's their business. (I can't believe I'm defending anything this president has done.) Some people - obviously not Donohue or his cronies - actually have cherished friends who profess different faiths, or none at all. While it seems a non-Christian chafing at "Merry Christmas" in a card from a Christian friend is a bit hypersensitive, actually recognizing in your salutation that not everyone celebrates what you do, is in itself something of a gift.

(Incidentally, why do none of my Jewish friends give me a Hannukah card? Just because i don't celebrate it doesn't mean I want to be excluded. Every year I buy postage stamps celebrating Eid, Hannukah, Kwanzaa and Christmas - both secular and holy - and none of my non-Christian friends ever responds with a blessing from their tradition. It kinda blows. Note to non-Christians: "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Easter" is actually - despite the "Religious WRong" in this country - meant as a quick sharing of the warm fuzzy we feel at these times of year. OH! I do remember a Jewish coworker this year extolled, "Happy Resurrection" to another coworker of mine. I don't know if she was joking or what, but I assumed she was Christian until I discovered later she wasn't. Why do we never express any measure of celebration for eachother in each other's respective religious traditions? If you hold something dear, and I hold you dear, I should say, "Happy Hannukah" or "Blessed Eid" or whatever. But I digress ...)

Essentially, Donohue, Wildmon, Robertson, Fallwell, all these folks who are more concerned with how the President signs off on his holiday cards than how he signs off on bills, should probably take a knee in prayer. If they honestly believe chiming "Merry Christmas" is more indicative of one's faith in God through Christ than how one spends his or her money, how one treats his/her less fortunate neighbor, or how one governs, then it's no wonder non-believers call Christians hypocrites.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Friday, December 02, 2005

Melts my heart like lard on a skillet

My dog is a prodigious chewer. Anything fluffy with a squeaker will be eviscerated within minutes when given to her. Hence, we have given her a fire-hose toy with a squeaker to chew. It has taken her about two weeks to really puncture the ballistic materical. So what's so adorable about all that?

When she has the tubular toy propped up and wedged in her mouth and bites into it, her eyes close and she relishes it. She looks like a wisened old jazz man in a smoky club.

I'm going to be late to my show!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Chomsky hates me

... or at least he should. Outside of the basic sentence mobile, I don't "get" syntax at all.

This might be the last meeting of my Syntax class this semester. Our prof arranged the class schedule so that we could end class a week early, or go to the end (next week) if we wanted. As class has a narcotic effect on all of us - including those who thrive on the torture that is syntax - I suspect we'll opt to end it tonight. I still have two more papers to turn in. Luckily he'll be accepting those for a few more weeks. However, I don't know if I have any more brain power to drudge something up for two more papers. This week, I thought I had a topic, an arguement. Then last night I sat down to write it, only to discover I didn't.

I can't wait for this class to be over. Just two more papers and I never have to worry about Case Theory or Binding Theory or anything like that again. My brain can stop being the puddle of snot that it has become in the last 16 weeks.