Three Beautiful Things ... to pull me up

I've had a rather rough week (hence the last post with the boat, "The Heartbreaker"). I've been crying a lot and trying to cope with the implications of yet another defeat that is so absolutely beyond my control, and frankly, beyond that of just about anyone else. Today, I've been trying very hard to focus on fleeting moments of beauty and blessings small and large that are so easy to overlook in the dense fog of sorrow. So, in the vein of Clare, here are three beautiful things for which I am truly grateful this week.

1. Happy, wiggly puppy. God must've known I needed some fresh warm fuzzy, because right out side the door to my office, as I left tonight, was a 4 month old Australian Blue Heeler being walked by her mom. After getting permission from her mother to greet her, I approached her, speaking in my best puppy-loving voice. The fuzzy baby was both shy and terribly excited to meet me - alternately hugging close to her mom's legs and running up to me. There is nothing more adorable than a puppy in its wobbly, uncoordinated phase when life is new, everything is a delightful discovery and every stranger is just a friend she hasn't met.

2. My girlfriend's daughter. My good friend Earthmother and American Dad, her husband, were in town for a few days and spent Sunday with us. Their 4-year-old is going through a princess phase, despite her parents' encouraging her inherent tomboy nature. She can't totally shake the tomboy: during our pasta dinner, she took it upon herself to strip down to her waist to avoid getting dirty. But she's still eager for tiaras: while watching Wall-E for the first time in our basement, she kept turning to her father saying, "here come the princesses!" Hope springs eternal, doll. (For you and me, both.)

3. Genuine vacation coming our way. Because of family obligations, combined with the limited amount of vacation time, it looked like our vacation this year would be dictated by weddings and not by our own want for a new getaway. But because Honey is a fucking badass at what he does, it looks like that's changed. Honey received the highest award given within his company - awarded annually to only 10 out of the 10s of 1000s of employees in the company - for his badassery. Now, while I've worked in corporations who laud their employees with restaurant gift certificates or maybe a cash prize of $200, Honey works in a company that lavishes much better, IMHO. In addition to a swanky dinner with the company brass, and a token plaque, we're getting a choice of vacations including a cruise in the Bahamas or a trip to Hawaii, among the options. Those are the two we're most attracted to. Frankly, I'm more drawn to Hawaii, since I've never been there and after years of adamantly not wanting to go ("oh you MUST go!" sh'yeah, right. see 4), I'm finally interested. So, screw company time limitations. Life's too short not to take vacation just because some greedy corporation won't pay for an extra few days. I'm already so proud of Honey for all his badassery. I'm doubly proud that I'm not the only one who sees his genius. And I'm supergrateful that it's going to give us a genuine vacation. We need a genuine vacation so badly.

3BT: avocation, aspiration, admiration

It was cold and alternately weeping rain today and into tonight. So, it feels like a good time to sit back and reflect a la Clare, on three beautiful things that popped out at me, today.

1. After an aggravating morning, I decided to call one of my best girlfriends, who lives a good 4 or 5 hours away, on my ride into work. She'd just loaded her kids in the car and was driving the 4 year old to preschool. I vented and ranted and she chimed in and offered her ear. We had a good visit, and we said our goodbyes as I pulled into my office driveway. Moments later she called me back. Her daughter had apparently asked who she was on the phone with, "Aunt Molly," she'd replied. "I want to go to Aunt Molly's house after school!" That turned my morning around

2.
I came across this today. A cousin of mine died almost 13 years ago from MD. This young man (who's already survived my cousin by 4 years) looks physically very similar to my cousin, though he has more use of his upper body, and more muscle mass, than my cousin did. Though I don't know if my cousin ever felt suicidal, there's no doubt in my mind that the mental anguish he carried must've been intense. However, like this young man, my cousin pursued all that his financial and physical resources allowed during his short time here. Seeing this interview reminded me of S and that being blessed is really a state of mind.

3. At a party tonight, a colleague told me that she loved some sweeping dance move that I and another performer improvised in a show a few weeks ago. Apparently, she's a ballet nerd and thought that we looked graceful and that I looked like I knew what I was doing and it just took her breath away. We didn't, of course. But I love that for once gravity was not my nemesis and I was evidently, if even accidentally, swanlike!

3BT: Early "Voting," Soundtrack, Complacent Canine

In the spirit of Clare; some things that I noticed yesterday:

1. On a mid-day trip to 7-11, I caught a cardboard merchandise stand near the door. "Cast Your Vote '08," it pitches. I can choose to buy non-campaign endorsed keychains, buttons, bumperstickers and the like for either Obama or McCain. As you can see from the photo on the right, Obama's merchandise was all sold out. McCain's merchandise still had plenty to offer. It re-affirms my hope that we'll have a sincere change of leadership next week.

2. On my walk to 7-11, I plugged into my iPod to find I'd left it not on shuffle, as per usual, but on the Amelie soundtrack. I walked deliberately slowly down the blocks from my office to the store so that I could soak up the music. The capricious cold breezes and cool grey sky were completely opposed to the warm, semi-nostalgic light that bathes virtually every scene in that movie. Nonetheless, when the music began, I felt suddenly awakened to the world around me ... a little like the title heroine.

3. Babydog had to have a bath last night. Apparently on her walk yesterday, she decided to roll around in a pile of some other dog's poop, and our dog-walker discovered what enticed her too late. She managed to wipe off and gently clean the bulk of it, but Babydog still had some smudged in her fur, and she stunk. She hates being bathed and will wriggle away as much as possible. But last night, she dutifully stood in the bathtub as I focused the shower sprayer on her. With soaked fur looking like feathers, she looks up at me as if to say, "Is this what you want? Fine. See if I care. It was worth it!"

Take a deep breath

After my freakout dream last week, and the subsequent slump I fell into later in the week, I was, according to my loving spouse, intolerable. Greeaaat. Luckily, a weekend of rehearsals and dinner with friends proved a good salve, I think. I'm still stressed out about work and life and balancing the two, but I suspect I'm back to being tolerable. Until I'm delightful again, I'll take tolerable.

So, this week, I've been trying to keep my eyes open to little blessings and inspirations. Always in the spirit of Clare. Here are some that I found that have made me smile, and feel good, in no particular order.

Honey, spotted a postcard from last week's Post Secret. It said "Nutella turns me on." He looked over at me. "Did you send this in?" I didn't. But we both know I may as well have.

Hearing The Beatles' Revolution this morning on the drive in to work. I almost changed the channel. I know this song. Frakkin' Nike used it to hawk overpriced shoes. Why hear it again for the umpteenth time on a station aimed at my parents? But I listened anyway with newer ears. It gave me a charge to keep on keepin' on ("Don't you know it's gonna be alright?"). And for some reason it seemed fitting today, the 45th anniversary of my childhood hero's seminal speech, the same day that Barack Obama, heir to that dream (though, I suppose we're all heirs), accepts his nomination as the Democratic candidate for President. My God, I'm ready for this revolution. Please let it work.

Walking to grab lunch after a morning rain, today. Seeing droplets clinging to the leaves of trees and their soggy blossoms. Feeling content in the saturated colors around me, in the soppy creation.

3BT: winged beasts and feathered skies

Been working like a madwoman, lately. Exhausted as all sin. Was even smited late this week with some nasty allergic reaction all over my frakkin' body! I blame garlic.

Nonetheless, the pain receded and I took Babydog for a walk this evening that allowed me time to pause and soak in the beauty of the evening. It was lovely. Humid and hot, but peaceful. Felt lucky to be alive and witness the simple wonders around me.

So here's another nod to Clare's mission, and three beautiful things I noticed this evening:

1. The song of the cicadas. It is eaily the sound of summer for me. I love their drawn out trill of weeeee-oooo, weeee-oooo, weeee-oooo. Lots of people hate cicadas, but I hear their chorus and it fills me with joy: it's persistent and only comes once a year. It's like a hymn of praise that swells up amidst the heat. A reminder of impermance and the need to live in the now. When I hear them, I think, "Enjoy this now. Summer will end soon. When they stop, school will start again and all your summer freedom will be over." They sing of the present.

2. A high sheet of thick cirro-cummulus clouds spanning over the sky like a vast silvery, bluey-white bridal train. They looked almost like the tips of peackock feathers, only white. Often, those kinds of clouds precede thunderheads. I could see a line off in the distance behind the sheet, but whether we'll have storms tonight, I don't know. These clouds this evening were pure icing, though.

3. Spotting a hawk on a neighbor's fence. I did a double take. It was about 30 feet from us, calmly perched on the chain link fence, glancing around. I inched us closer to it - maybe another 5 feet - slowly and quietly and just watched him for a bit. Even though we live in a solidly urbanized part of the metro area, he was a reminder that wildlife will not be denied. Sprawl be-damned. These are our neighbors, too.

3BT: Beating Wii, Bach and Bender

I know I've been off the horn for a while. Not only have I not posted for a few weeks, I've been bad about visiting other blogs. I owe visits and comments to Joe, Pearl and Sonnjea, I recall off the top of my head. But tonight I write just to get something posted, and because yesterday gave me a few items to make the day lovely. So, the beautiful things:

1. A few weeks ago, I got a Wii Fit for my birthday. I know I'm out of shape and could stand to lose a few pounds, so I wasn't surprised by the what the scale and BMI measurement feature of the Fit told me. (Still within the healthy range, but on the high end of both.) What did surprise me was the "real age" function of the Fit. It evaluates your weight, BMI and your balance and from there comes up with a "real age" for you. I am in my early 30s, according to my birth certificate. Wii Fit told me I was 42. I was quite disheartened. But I've been using it more and improving my balance a little, I guess, because Tuesday morning, Wii told me my new "real age" was 27! WOOHOO! I have conquered the balance board!

2. Yesterday morning, I was driving into work, feeling good about being 27, but not really looking forward to dealing with the challenging client I had waiting for me. Feeling stressed, I switched my radio dial to the local classical station. It was playing Bach's "Sleepers Awake," which is an immediate salve to my stressed out mind! It's a soft blanket. I hear it and immediately I'm driving in the mountains of Northern New Mexico (my soul's second home) with my family under the bright sky dappled with the leaves of Aspen trees. It really is a welcoming piece, even with the swelling brass, it's unpretentious - at least to me. I needed it and didn't know I needed it until fate placed it at the right place at the right time. Like God's little "chill out" postcard.

3. Getting to watch the new Futurama movie! (Poster w/ title above.) Honey pre-ordered it and it arrived yesterday. We wasted no time popping in the disc and seeing what Fry, Bender, Leela and the crew have been up to since Bender's Big Score. I liked this one better than the last. Without giving too much away, I'll just say that there really was a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Making me smile this morning

... that after what felt like an interminable 5 days of cold and rain and overcast and dreariness, the sun, that life-giving, bright and glorious and dynamic face of God has slipped the surly barrier of clouds to touch the face of Earth.

... seeing old grade school photos of my husband that my mother in law left him. In fifth grade he looks uncannily like the little boy from Love Actually, so innocent. By sixth grade, he's wearing a Coca Cola rugby shirt with the collar popped and his hair in a pre-Zach Morris spike, preening to be the heart-throb of his class. Adorable to "awesome." Awesome to the max.

... the cat, after several (blissful) years of ignoring us as we sleep, has decided he needs to start sleeping with us again. It doesn't hurt that since the weather has warmed up, the dog has opted for the floor. Apparently we're prime seasonal slumbering real estate.

ink, exercises in futility, fuzzy ambitions

Three beautiful things this Earth Day, a la Clare's blog, yet again.

1. The handstamp ink from last night's show faded into the back of my hand. The way the ink sunk into the crevices of my skin, the resulting pattern reminds me of a faded screen door, or a lesson in cross-hatch shading from 7th grade art class.

2. The mother in the grocery store yesterday with 3 children in her cart, negotiating with her son in the basket and her son hanging off the basket to stop fighting. "If you can be nice to eachother for 7 whole days, then you can pick out whatever toy gun you want. ... we'll make a chart and put it on the refrigerator so we can keep track." I couldn't hide how this cracked me up. I looked over at her and she glanced over the tops of their heads at me. We exchanged and amused look. We both know those boys can't last seven days, but we also both know that if they last at least one, she's gotten what she wanted out of the deal.

3. Dreaming last night that I was part of the Daily Show creative staff, even if the staff was completely fictional. Rob CordDETT?

Things that made me smile

Doing a slightly different twist on Clare's Three Beautiful Things, this morning and reflecting on things that made me smile in the last 24 hours.

- Yesterday 8:55 AM: a plump robin red breast perched on the end of a low fence behind the parking lot at work. The morning sun backlit him such that a halo glowed around his feathers, revealing which were smooth against his puffed, orange chest and which were splayed about. My car was right beside him, in the entrance to the lot, so I rolled down the passenger side window to stare for a bit. After I parked, I tried to creep up behind him to take a picture, but his survival instincts were strong, and he hopped off and around the corner.

- Friends trying to encourage me to join Facebook, after I sent an email asking if it was worth it.

- The symphony of birds this morning as I took Babydog for a walk; the percussion of a woodpecker somewhere, amidst the chirps, tweets and calls.

- Seeing The Cap'n on his morning constitutional this morning. I've only started seeing him, probably because I'm just coming out of winter hibernation to start walking again in the mornings. He's probably between 70 and 80 years old, wears a tan, cotton peacoat that looks perfectly VanDeKamp-ish and a black nautical military cap. He walks with a cane. And I love him. As we passed him, this morning, he touched the brim of his cap in greeting. And he chuckled at seeing Babydog's little orange furry-ness strain against the leash to cross the street to say hello.

Three Beautiful Things

1. Finding a siamese mushroom among the mushrooms I bought at the store, Saturday.



2. Reconnecting with an old friend on LinkedIn and discovering she lives in my metro area and meeting up with her for dinner tonight. Also: finding that even after having not seen each other, nor having corresponded with each other for 9 years, we still had enough commonality to make the evening enjoyable and to want to go out again, soon!

3. Recognizing that I was being hit on - or at least sniffed out - with my girlfriend tonight. And when one of the guys asked something to the effect of, "why don't you hang out with us?" I answered, "I think I need to spend some time tonight at home. With my husband." It felt good. And my girlfriend later was like, "yeah, you shut him out." Yea, me!

Three Beautiful Things

1. This five-minute oscar-nominated animated short film. I'll buy it on iTunes once I remember our login.



2. Returning to the stage last night, and despite being out of practice, having a good show.

3. The gentle late winter rain of the last 24 hours.

Clean out the attic

In the meantime, enough whining. In the spirit of Three Beautiful Things, here are some little things that have caught my notice as of late:

- a man in a tuxedo standing on the corner of a residential neighborhood, apparently not waiting for a bus or a ride or anything. He's holding a sign that reads: "Audition Today."
- a family on a bike ride along the trail. Hom leads the pack, Dad brings up the tail. Right in front of Dad, little brother, probably no older than 5, pedals like a madman, his knees flying up, furiously.
- tending Honey through food poisoning this weekend. Though it breaks my heart when he's ill, there's something really love-affirming about having that heartbreak. The beautiful agony of true love; of hurting when they suffer.
- seeing an occasional friend from childhood - and cousin of a dear friend from childhood - in the audience of the Emmys; feeling happy that this person's significant other won and that this person made it to the thank you speech.

what i like about this moment

1. a cat purring in my lap and a dog napping on the floor.
2. the rum in my rum and ginger ale starting to kick in.
3. finally knowing what to do with a screenplay i've been writing on and off again for the last 4 years!

Useful Things I Have Found at my New Job

Specifically, useful things I have found in my desk drawer or the drawer of the front desk where I am normally relegated to in other jobs but not this one!

1. O.B. tampons. I don't use OB, because I like to have a slightly more formal relationship with my vagina during the days we don't speak to one another. However, in an emergency, I might open up that line of communication if I had to.

2. A guide to praying the Rosary. I am not Catholic, and my prayers tend to be free-form and non-regimented. However, I suspect this guide could give me something to discuss with the Pope if we were ever trapped in an elevator together and a conversation about condom distribution in 3rd world countries turned out to be a non-starter.

3. Dirty U Clean Cotton body lotion. It looks like something from Bath and Body Works that I wouldn't spend the $12 for but for which I would pine and mooch off of fellow coworkers if they had it. Most immediately helpful item so far. As our highs the last week have been reaching up to the mid-20s, my little manos are chapped like crazy. Thanks Dirty U for softening my knuckles back up!

What treasures have you found left behind from other people?

Three New Beautiful Moments - Weekend Edition

I have been meaning to blog all weekend and have not gotten around to it. Please pardon me, y'all if I haven't gotten around to surfing your blogs, either. I have been remiss this week.
Quick update: I accepted the job I was ambivalent about. I start in a couple of weeks. I'll be working freelance, but without a contract. My goal is to go in, kick some ass, learn some new stuff that I can take with me elsewhere and hopefully - unless this is really the place for me - bow out by graduation time in May and get a gig on another contract. We'll see. I need to learn to play life by ear.

Since it's been a little while since I've reflected on beauty in my life, here are three beautiful moments from the last few days, a la Clare.

1. dinner at my boss' house. AND that even though Honey was called in to work on an emergency, he chose to and managed to join us for dessert toward the end of the night. there were just 6 of us. she fixed lamb and roasted russet potatoes (mmm) as well as a corn soufflet. i had a marvelous time. and the fact that Honey made it just made me all smiley. maybe i'm a dork, but i love showing him off to coworkers.

2. meeting up with an old friend we'd lost touch with at Honey's company's holiday party. Saturday night, Honey's company threw their annual holiday party. if we lived in latin america or certain parts of Europe, I'd give them holiday credit for celebrating on Epiphany (1/6), aka Three Kings' Day, but since we live in the US, I just have to recognize that they're cheap. in any event, one of Honey's coworkers is dating a friend we'd lost touch with who we used to go to church with. it was such a great warm fuzzy to catch up with her. likewise, i got to chew the fat with the fiancee of one of Honey's coworkers and she was really cool, too. anytime you go to a company party of a company which does not employ you and you get to have good conversation with neat people, that is a moment to celebrate.

3. having dinner with VirginiaGal! i always love when we get to hang out, which is not often enough any more. so i cherish it all! (oh, and the great dream i had of her last night which i hope is a harbinger/premonition of good things for her in 2007)

3 Things that did me good.

I haven't done a reflection on 3 items that warmed my ticker recently, so I thought I'd do one, today.

1. Auditioning by invite-only for a show I was really, really interested in. Having a great time at the audition, expecting at best a call-back. And then getting cast! Woohoo! I can't wait for the run, next Spring.

2. Having a blast at some friends' annual holiday party. Despite the guy who thought that by telling me he was straight at this mostly gay-attended party, that was some means of picking me up - I was probably somewhat entertained by his drunken awkwardness - I had a great time. (I will never understand why men assume that engaging in sociable conversation is actually "hitting on" a woman and not just enjoying a good conversation.) More than that, though, is the pleasure of knowing that Honey is not a jealous man and trusts I can stave off propositions on my own. (Though it helps I'm apparently oblivious to men making passes.) I gather some men are insecure - and he's not one of them. I also appreciate that when they talked, Honey was sympathetic to the guy's own awkwardness - he wasn't sure what to make of his first mostly gay-populated party. I really like that he can see people's vulnerabilities that I can't, often.

3. Finding hilarious parody stuff like this on YouTube. Damn, I love that website!

today's meandering musings

a little a la Clare's track

the bridge over the river this morning driving in to work - it looked a little like a Monet. (i think that's the artist) like the painting of the bridge at Giverny, except muddier and cold winter looking.

geese this winter. i like watching them fly together with their long necks stretched forward. i like hearing them honk to each other at night in their alien language and watching Babydog freak out at their shared tongue.

seeing the huge golden moon rise over the city and reflect in the river last night, on the drive home. knowing that these are the moments to save in my mental scrapbook.

thoughts on election eve

First, of course some items a la Clare to clear a little fog and burden:

Uno - spending the weekend in a small town in upstate New York. I hadn't spent an overnight or downtime in a small town in so long I couldn't remember the exact last time that I had. (pretend that made sense, gramatically.) My favorite part? Upon stepping outside of our friend's dad's house late one night, I paused and turned to Honey and said, "do you hear that?" Our friend smiled and Honey and I exchanged satisfied looks, "Yeah," he said. It was the music of stillness. It sounded the way fine wine tastes.

Due - seeing our friends' marriages and feeling gratified that our friends delight in each other.

Tre - treating a friend to lunch, today.

Churchgal wrote a nice post about the Ted Haggard disgrace, today. I commented on the blog, but I'll tell you now, her sympathy for him is really moving, to me. Guffawing at his shame is easy and shallow (that's why we all do it), sorrowing for him is blessed.

Tomorrow is election day. Midterms. I do hope the Democrats take the House and the Senate would be nice, too. But that's just because I am a Democrat - well, mostly because I'm a Democrat. But my optimism is very cautious for a few reasons:

A) I don't feel like the Democrats have a clear, unified point of view which the nation at large can identify, unlike, say the Republicans' "Contract with America" in 1994.
B) I no longer underestimate the ability of the Dems to either screw it up in the end or lose a lead. Likewise, I don't overestimate the effectiveness of Bush machine attack strategies. Look at how they treated Max Cleland and John McCain - taking character assassination to new lows.
C) Living on the East Coast, the general energy among people I talk to is, "the Dems are going to take this one; maybe not a landslide, but certainly at least the House." Mmm. I dunno. You have to be careful you don't live in an echo chamber. In 1992, I lived in West Texas and was surrounded by Republicans, there were a few supporters of Clinton (most of whom went to our church, ironically) but by and large, we all thought Bush would win because that was local sentiment. We were wrong. In 2004, people around me thought Kerry cinched it. Nope. Living in conservative areas of the country, I've heard people look at nationwide polls that show a more liberal leaning in the response and say, "i don't know ANYONE who feels that way; who are THESE pollsters talking to?" and living in this more liberal region, i've heard people say the same about nationwide polls that show a more conservative response. We are a huge nation with varied opinions and limited interaction with people outside our own ideologies. I can't assume the Dems will bag this.

... but I hope I'm wrong.

Frankly, I don't know if a Democratic majority in either the House or Senate would make things "better" per se, but I do think it would at the very least create an environment that embraces dissent. We always say we want bipartisanship and I do think every so often we see shifts in political power to make sure one party doesn't control everything (as in 1994), so hopefully we'll see some bipartisan compensation tomorrow.

horribleness and happiness on Halloween

First with the horrible part, I suppose. A colleague of mine was injured in Afghanistan this weekend, by an improvised explosive device. He's got burns and sight and hearing problems right now, but he's alive and he'll heal and he's on his way back home. A soldier he was with, as I understand it, didn't make it. When I learned he was off to Afghanistan and the project he was working on, I was worried something like this might happen. I don't know him too well, but what I do know of him, he's a warm guy with a sense of humor and joie de vivre that I appreciate. This is why I hate war.

We have a friend stationed in Iraq at the moment, too. I haven't worried too much about her because I don't think she's seeing direct combat per se. But damn. I do worry about her mental health on her return; depending on what she's been exposed to, I suppose. Trauma like surviving an explosion, or battle or whatever, fundamentally changes you. I'm keeping both of them in my prayers as well as the family of the fallen soldier.

Now for the happiness (because that's what gets us through the day, right?):

Ein - I learned today we will be getting a full week off of work at Christmas. Whee! I'm sure it's unpaid, but a week off is a week off. I'll take it.

Zwei - Cute costumes tonight. We had a toddler Mad Hatter accompanied by a grown up Alice. A teenaged girl with a lime green spiderweb and plastic barbed wire around her neck. ("Are you a psychedelic spiderweb?" "No, I'm a dustbunny - and would you believe, some people keep barbed wire behind their couch?!") A ninja with vampire teeth. I kept trying to insist he was a vampire ninja, but he swore he wasn't. A quartet of 10-year-old girls: a witch, a devil, an angel and something else. A cat burglar.

Drei - Wonderfully friendly children. Some good friends trick or treated by our house tonight and brought with them a friend and her sons. I'd only ever met the boys once or twice before. They're 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 years old respectively. The girls as always were delightful - excited to find participation ribbons on Babydog's crate. The boys were just adorable. As they were all leaving to hit up more houses, the 2 year old (dressed in a Jiminy Cricket costume) flung his arms up for a hug. Then he stuck his tongue out and started humming. So I hugged him and picked him up under his arms and held him in front of my face. I copied his face and sound and the two of us were there, at arms length face to face, tongues protruding humming against eachother. I think he could've done that all night. It was awesome!

Good Things and East Coast Guilt.

1. Honey called in the new cell phone company to transfer over our old phone numbers onto the new carrier. I only heard his side of the conversation, but it sounded like he was making fast friends with the customer service guy, chatting about everything from our dog to how many children we expected to show up on our doorstep for Halloween!

2. Discovering one of my weekly recipe e-mails from Texas Monthly was for a Cream Filled Pumpkin Pie Roll. Mmm. We're hosting Thanksgiving at our house this year. Honey hates pumpkin flavored deserts, but I think I might try to make this anyway, as he will not be the only person at the table. Just thinking about it makes me all fuzzy with anticipation!

3. We're heading back over the mountain this morning so Babydog can do her second leg of her JHD trial. The last time we went to a herding trial/exhibition, it was all corgis; this time she's the only corgi in a sea of border collies and a few shelties. It's really only intimidating for me. HOWEVER, though she's not as disciplined as a lot of the border collies - and most of them are rural dogs anyway, so they have more room for practice than just a living room - in her part of the trial, she was still a lot better than some of the other dogs. (My chest puffs.) What can I say? I guess I'm a competitive American mommy.
I visited SonnjeaB's Friday post, today. It's interesting, her conundrum about volunteering and being a better person is not only somewhat personally familiar - I too sometimes have trouble reconciling my desire to make the world a better place and not really wanting to work the volunteer places I've sold myself on - but its familiarity seems to translate to another area of my life: the professional one. I think I'm only just now finding the general direction I want my career to take, but boy do I feel like I've been slow to the game.

In this part of the country people are defined by and happily define themselves by their employment or their achievements. (I may have blogged on this before.) If you're 5 years old, it's assumed you're a good reader. If you're 18, it's assumed you're applying to top tier schools and the state university is only your "safety." If you're 60, it's assumed you've made it to the top of your game, you still work-out and you've got a healthy retirement waiting with which you can travel the world in your twilight years. If you're out of college, it's assumed you're on your career track and you know what that is. So here I am, 30, just now starting up what I want to be doing and I feel like I'm perceived as a dilly dallyer, when really all it was was schlepping to pay the bills and sampling till I found the dish I liked. (And some days I think I might still want to switch the dish.) It's hard to be human in a part of the country that assumes over-acheivement on everything and everyone. (see #3 above!)

Revision to #3: I'm happy that Babydog gets a thrill from herding. It makes me happy to see her happy, even when she's over-eager!