I was about three days behind in my e-mail, today, when I finally checked it. Texas Monthly had sent me another weekly recipe and some ad for some author talk or musician's talk or travel special. I only save the recipes anymore as I'm not in the great state enough to ever catch the author talks or special events. I have to admit, each time I see the name of Texas Monthly in the inbox, I get a passing twinge of homesickness, especially when who or what they're pitching is particularly enticing, like a recipe from a restaurant I like. (And I try not to leave the state without a copy whenever I visit. DFW airport is best about making them easily visible to buy than Austin or Houston, I think.) It's kind of like how you smile each time you pass a picture of a dear friend from college that you still keep hung up even though you haven't spoken to her in years.
We're about 50% unpacked now in the new "oh-shit-we're-grownups" house. A lot of my clothes are still in boxes. I randomly found a label to a CD I made for Honey when he was briefly working abroad. It's titled "Music to 'Relate' To." Apparently, in my early 20s, I thought I was clever. There seem to be some good songs on here; I wish I could find the original CD. Maybe I've burned them onto MP3 somewhere. Nope. Doesn't seem to be on my harddrive. Though browsing through iTunes to hear the snippets what I hear puts me back in the mood; takes me back to my friend's house where I burned the CD, and how safe and familiar that house and that city felt and still feels. ... it reminds me of my younger youth. (I refuse to completely relent the title of youth, yet. I've still a few days till 30.) It reminds me of the optisim of the late 90s.
I don't know if I was so optimistic then because I was younger and it came with the territory or if those were generally more optimistic times. Even with Columbine, political mishandlings of Bosnia Herzegovinia and the Balkans, and the impeachment of President Clinton, I felt optimistic. I remember, from 1997 through late 2000, thinking whatever fuckups occurred were not insurmountable. Clinton could fix it. Parents and students could fix it - maybe they'd actually spend time with their kids and be kinder to their peers and help prevent further Columbines. The nations of the world would be or were at least trying to be helpful and more helpful and would try and try again to help out and not make bad mistakes.
But here. Now. I do not feel secure. I am optimistic, but almost only just to keep my self from going crazy. (I do believe survivors are those who refuse to surrender to their fears or resign to whatever oppresses them.) Truthbeknown, I am far more worried about life today. I'm sure some of it has to do with aging and gaining more and more responsibilities. But as I sit in my office, painted by the previous owners in nursery colors and ponder what lies ahead for the future child I hope we rear in this room, I worry. The big nasty political threats that face our country don't just come from al Quaeda and other terrorist organizations, they come from our own government. Whether it's tapping our phone calls (WTF?) or putting signing statements on every bill the prez signs so that he can override whatever he doesn't like and play king or simply having a government whose executive branch flouts UN laws and the opposition party rolls over like some lame pony, I just don't feel confident in those who are purported to represent and protect us. It makes me sad.
... or maybe this is tonight's table wine talking.
in the meantime ... we have our first houseguests coming this weekend. Anyone got any suggestions as to a good "first official meal" in the new house to cook for them? Any ethnic traditional dishes i need to know about?